In Roman Catholic theology, transubstantiation is the doctrine that, in the Eucharist, the substance of wheat bread and grape wine changes into the substance of the Body and the Blood of Jesus,

It derives from John 6:53-58:

So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever."

The earliest known use of the term transubstantiation to describe the change from bread and wine to body and blood of Christ that was believed to occur in the Eucharist was by Hildebert de Lavardin, Archbishop of Tours (died 1133),

The Council of Trent in its thirteenth session ending October 11, 1551, defined transubstantiation as "that wonderful and singular conversion of the whole substance of the bread into the Body, and of the whole substance of the wine into the Blood - the species only of the bread and wine remaining - which conversion indeed the Catholic Church most aptly calls Transubstantiation.

This is when any old priest consecrates the Eucharist (converts crackers into Jesus crackers) during the sacrament of Holy Communion (this is when you eat Jesus's asshole, testicles or penis).

Just remember, if you regularly consume the blood and flesh of a demigod in a room full of chanting elders you're not allowed to call other religions primitive and evil.

So! What's the difference between the communion cracker and a soylent green cracker?

ANS: One is divine and to die for. The other tastes like shit.

When you are given your little cracker, are you eating part of Jesus's brain, liver, penis, testicles or asshole.

Call this a form of cannibalism.

This wine and wheat wafers are given out like popcorn at church.

Everybody gets to drink the blood and eat the body of Christ.

I had never before thought that Soylent Green was readily available on the market. I thought it was only a movie.

Shitting, like death, is a great leveller. It renders beluga caviar indistinguishable from tinned ham, a duchess as creaturely as a dog. Even God's only son may be transformed by the act: the stercoranistes, an early Christian sect, believed in a double transubstantiation, Christ into the communion wafer, and thence into dung.

If the Eucharist allows you to eat the body of Christ and drink his blood, shouldn't you consider saving your poop, that now contains holy shit.

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