And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Matthew 21:22

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
Mark 11:24
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
John 14:13-14

If you believe that your god is omnipotent and we are all his children and he offers his protection through prayers....

  • Why are there children in the cancer wards in hospitals?

  • Why lock your house with deadbolts?

  • Why do you buy alarms systems for your home?

  • Why would you need computer passwords?

  • Why do you install smoke alarms?

  • Why would you ever buy a fire extinguisher?

  • Why would you buy home insurance?

  • Why buy firearms for protection?

  • Why do you use seatbelts?

  • Why would you wear a bicycle helmet when riding a bike/motorcycle?

  • Why do you look both ways before crossing a street?

  • Why do you put up security fences?

  • Why do you take self-defense courses to protect yourself?

  • Why do you lock your vehicles?

  • Why are you afraid of walking in downtown Framingham at night?

  • Why would you ever have to hire an attorney?

  • Why wear protective clothing at any time for any reason?

  • Why would ever build a storm shelter?

  • Why would you carry pepper spray?

  • Why would you need a safety deposit box?

  • Why would you buy health insurance?

  • Why would you ever need a doctor?

  • Why would you take any medications?

  • Why would you need chemotherapy?

  • Why would you ever vaccinate your children?

  • Why would you ever get a flu shot?

  • Why would you ever have to make funeral arrangements for your own child?

  • Why would you ever wear a condom?

  • Why would we ever have prisons of we could pray our way out?

I'll tell you why!

Because you're all hypocritical stupid pussies!


For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. Do not dread the disease
that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.

Psalm 91:1-3,6-7 (NLT)

If you pray hard enough, you can make water run uphill. How hard?
Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!

Mathew 21:22

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer*
(terms and conditions apply)

Believe is only applicable to belief in Jesus Christ (if he existed).
Offer is not applicable to belief in any other Diety.

Whatever is limited to anything that is possible within the laws of nature and physics to be deemed possible to occur on its own.
Offer not valid for anything supernatural or physically impossible to occur such as spontaneous regrowth of amputated limbs.
Offer not valid for any philosophical, including any requests for the elimination of evil.
Offer dependent on number of prayers received, seriousness of belief used, and whether or not the requests fails under God's plan.
Odds of success are identical to requests made without prayer or belief.
If believer has not received what they requested via prayer, then the fault lies with the requester, not with management.
Management reserves the right to rescind any offer or request via the Mysterious Ways clause.


One of my good friend's dad just suffered a stroke. He's alive, but not doing well. Everyone is offering prayers, literally writing out prayers on facebook.

It just aggravates me that people are literally doing nothing but talking to an imaginary friend to help this person, and acting like they've made a difference towards bettering this man's health. Prayer, does, not, work. You have done nothing but pretend to have helped this man.

Even if it did, why ask the God who just gave this man a stroke to make him well again? HE JUST GAVE THE GUY A STROKE, EVER THINK OF THAT SHIT?!

We need to stop valuing the act of prayer as an effective means of contribution towards well-being. It's not. Stop it, if you want to actually help, donate to a charity that funds research for stroke victims - go visit the person and sit next to them in their time of need. Give what you can spare to the family to help them in their trying times.

Don't, fucking, pray and pretend like you've done something meaningful.

You haven't.

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